I'm being irresponsible and lazy. And self-pitying.

"For as long as I can remember, I have taken my academic career seriously. Even at a young age, I never expected my parents to help me with my homework because I knew that it was my job to finish it. As I grew older, I almost always chose to work on homework over going to a friend’s house, if given the choice (ignore the negative repercussions this had on my social life). Through high school, I never once fell asleep during class, which must be some kind of record.

I’m not sure what is happening to me, but my strict academic self-discipline almost disappeared when I made some friends at BYU. For the first time in my life, I am making compromises that hurt my ability to learn, and I have the test scores to prove it. After a month of unrelenting use, my American Heritage book sits in a pile of other neglected texts. My Calculus test is approaching and I still have two homework assignments to finish. I have even tragically soiled my once-pristine record of sleeping in class.

In an email sent to everyone in our class, my American Heritage professor offered words of encouragement, reassuring us—or me, at least—that it isn’t too late to turn around disappointing grades. With a midterm in that class and tests in Calculus and Music this week, this seems as good a time as any to make a conscious decision to perform better in school. I know that I don’t need to stay up late every night. I know that I don’t need to go out with my friends every night (in fact, I know that I need to not go out with my friends every night). I know that I can do better, that I can study harder."

I wrote that for an English assignment one week ago. So far, I've mostly failed to make better choices as far as school is concerned. I feel like I'm so far behind in most of my classes that things are hopeless. I know it isn't true, but it's hard to ignore that thought.

I'm suffering through an irritating illness. My entire head feels congested, like there's an extra something between my skin and my insides. Hopefully it clears up fast, because getting sick in college isn't nearly as much fun as getting sick in high school.

The college life is rough.

It's become something of a tradition for my friends and I to go to Denny's at midnight every Sunday night (Monday morning?), and this week was no exception. Originally, I thought that I was making a huge mistake by going tonight; I wasn't even planning on ordering anything. That changed after I ate two pancakes, some bacon, sausage, hash browns, and toast, all FOR FREE. The workers really screwed up our order, and my friend Kyle reaped the rewards. We ate all the extra food, and then some. I think it might have been the universe's way of cheering me up after a lousy couple days.

This is mostly incoherent, sorry.

Sticks and Squares

I've had fun making pictures out of post-its lately. It started a few years ago when I emptied my English textbooks of dozens of annotated sticky notes. Inspiration bowled me over as I added to the pile of paper squares on my bed. Here is the result:



Last week I made a sign on my dorm room window to greet passersby. I only wish it was located in an area of higher traffic.



And last night, I carried out an incognito mission. At around 1:30 AM, I sneaked into a bathroom stall in my hall and hastily tagged the divider:



Since then, a few guys have scribbled notes on the Space Invader. It's sort of like temporary, harmless graffitti. I'm surprised no one has removed any of the notes yet, and it makes me wonder how long something like this would survive in a public bathroom, or even the bathroom of a men's dorm in some other college.

It all starts somewhere.

I registered this blog a few weeks ago. It was going to be a collaborative project between Christopher Hermelin and me. That project still exists, but now it's called now we know things. I decided that I might as well use this space for a personal blog. A cyber dump for whatever is on my mind, you know.

I guess I should introduce myself. As of right now, I am an eighteen-year-old white male from California. I go to Brigham Young University, which is a big school in Utah. I don't know what I'm going to major in yet because I'm not particularly good at anything.

Also, I lack self-confidence.

Man, this post is going nowhere. But at least I broke the ice, right?